Well, Hello my fellow bloggers! Not much is up tonight. At least as of now. Katrina and I will see each other when she gets off, but I have some time to think and reflect. I’m not sure when I’m going to Tell her about Jenny, my guess is I will as soon as there actually is something to report. But anyway, today, I stopped by her store again, it was semi-late, and I asked her if she wanted to get something to eat or hang out with each other for a short time. She kindly dismissed, and said she made arrangements with her friend Amber.

I figure that it would be a little better for me to lay a little lower for the time being. I don’t think that my invitation came off as creepy, but I want to make sure that I do not press too hard. It’s kind of a strange situation, not wanting to rush things, but having interests, but at the same time not getting at the fact that I like her. I mean, if there is someone else interested in her, I don’t want her to choose them because I was a shy-away, but at the same time, I don’t want her to think I’m scary. It could go both ways, but I definitely don’t think that tonight went wrong. In fact, I think I plucked it just right, making a statement, and being cordial but not imposing.

She’s really pretty too… It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if someone else liked her. I want to let her know that I am here, but at the same time I want things to go right, I don’t want to rush things. I’m comfortable with where I am right now, I have a good job, I’m getting a better one, I have a reliable car, I’m doing well in school, I have a safe place to stay at night; I don’t need a woman to feel good about myself, but they sure are a wonderful element to have in life. Do any blogger women have Advice? Are there any ways to tip the table my way without loosing any the pieces?

I have a feeling I know one way, but I’m not sure if I want to call on my Magic to do this. I would never launch a spell towards anyone else, but enhancing myself is a good way to find my place. I’ve done it several times, and every time it has paid off. But I’m not sure… Magic isn’t much of what I do, it’s more like my prayer manifested in candles, oil, and Ritual. But with all these blessings that come from my hard work and divinity, I kind of feel demanding. I think I will meditate several days on it before I do anything. I want to make sure all the pieces fall together. Good or bad, Righteous or Evil, all choices hold consequences.

Hello all my fellow bloggers. The last time I did a ceremony actually turned out be rather comical, though highly unproductive meditation and magic session. My room is small, I have a bed, a dresser, a desk, a bookshelf, and a papasan Chair (One of those bowl chairs) and that leaves my ceremony space cluttered and clumsy. I spilt wax on my robe, and have burned my hair on more than one occasion, but I really don’t have the space I need to perform productive spell work.

Some of my problem is that I’ve been drawing a lot of negative energy recently because in the past four weeks, the girl of my dreams has become quite the headache. We went from being engaged four weeks ago, to me leaving her three days ago. I think I need to get away, cleanse myself, and restore spiritual balance. My mom has been using my most powerful stone recently, and I’ve started to feel it.

I recently came out of the broom closet to her, but I Think she’s gotten herself into a bit of trouble with it, and I think her energies and intentions are clashing with the stone’s purpose. If anyone knows about stone magic, I could really use some help right now. In my care, it served simply as an amplifier for positive spiritual energy. I gave it to her to use for a while because she was in a troubled situation, she could have used the charges of the elements on it to empower her, but when I told her that I practiced it, she asked me if I could use it on someone else, and I told her that I couldn’t without their permission, but is it possible that a charm made for someone else can have it’s charge changed according to their desires, and as a result, the bad Karma can come back on the Mage?

I’m not sure how magic works in that way, but I’m going to be taking it back soon, cleanse it, and cleanse myself. I may have to draw more powerful circles, because the last ceremony was a real let down, and I must admit, I did slack in it. I usually use a wand for healing and guidance, and I’ll use an athame for protection and banishing, (Which, Luckily, I have not yet had to do.)

But Luckily, I’ll be working a lot, but soon I will have an apartment, and I plan on getting a two bedroom apartment, one a Guest bedroom/office, the other be my bedroom/temple, in which I will have my alter and other things.

Although what long has been my pride in life is not diminished, I would like to publicly proclaim my thanks to The Mother whom allowed me to share a wonderful, but disappointing cycle of life. She gave me the chance to love and be loved, and although I am saddened, the clouds do not hang on me forever. I thank Her for the empowerment She gives me. I thank Her for the peace she’s provided. The storm has gone and the clouds Begin to lift. She is gracious in all ways. So It is written, so may it be done

Give me warmth when the night is cold
Give me sight when the night is dark
Give me guidance when my heart is old
Give me knowledge when my ears will hark

I pray for The Good for my soul to keep
I pray for your embrace when my soul starts to weep
You are always near, you’re never far
Please let me keep this dream world adjar

Let me stay in this garden so green
Let me stay where she may always be seen
Let fly in the night where we always have before
Please do not shut this hallowed door

Give me vigor to endure and to last,
Give me streangth to not hold too fast
I do not know why we have come to this
Our worlds once filled with love and bliss

Give me the Love to come to be friends
If conditions rise when vain are ammends
Give her guidence and knoledge and thirst
Give us alternatives for this spontanious disperse

Let her know and let her see
The angel in her that captivates me
Give me the streagth to edure the shift
If we cannot over-come this rift

Grant me with guidence, grant me with power
Grant me wisdom when things start to sour
Give me Love in this transition of pain
Bring balance and peace to my thought-riddled Brain

Goddess of magic Goddess of Love
May you always help seek the one I dream of
Thanks for your blessings, thanks for your Joys
Thanks for letting us be Girls and Boys

Thanks for your blessing even though it may wane
Thanks for your blessings even though it may be in vain
Carry me to your arms of comfort and delight
Bring my eyes to the future of ambitious delight.

I am saddened but I do not chalenge you
I know even through this, you will still see me through.
I will hold onto the one I dream of,
I believe in our Faith and Love

Give us reason, and empower us to understand
The power of your workings and the streangth of our hands.

Blessed Be

Hello again! Recently, I’ve been keeping up with my plants in my garden and they are actually doing quite well. I’m intending on using them not only for magic purposes, but also, to construct an outdoor alter so I can practice in the weather. I’m kind of disappointed with my catnip, but I get the feeling that it may come back. All the other herbs and flowers are doing quite well.

I am also growing inside. I can feel it. I’m kind of having a hard time balancing my spiritual existence and my love life, but the Goddess is sympathetic and understanding. In my college, I’m going to see if I can find a Pagan club of some sort, see if I can find some like minded people that are close enough to actually talk to.

I want to see the world understand what we are about. We’re not a cult of primitives that live in a fairy world; we’re intelligent, normal, highly spiritual people. I want to rally some Pagans under a banner and make the public aware of our presence. Not to focus on converting or starting a denomination thing, but just to simply state our presents and our array of beliefs.

I don’t know what to call myself. I’m not Wicca, I do use some of their meditations and philosophies in my magic and meditation, but to say that I’m Wicca is certainly debatable. I think I’m best classified as a druid. I want to meet more Pagans and hold a small seminar at the college around Halloween (For promotional purposes) that’s dedicated to educating our community about our beliefs.

It’s kind of funny… Because I’m marrying into in Christian family, I’m studying a book on the Christian outlook on magic and its arts, and the author did a really good job. It’s a wonderful book actually. Of course, we’re still portrayed as lost and spiritually hungry people, but the author does see through our eyes and at many points in the book, has admiration and empathy with us. What’s important to communicate is that Anyone who isn’t spiritually hungry is spiritually stagnant no matter what religion they choose to practice. It’s called “Wicca’s charm” for those interested.

I want to contact the author and see if we can get some good chats in. I don’t want to debate these things; I just don’t want this war of religions to continue. Religion shouldn’t be like talking to your kids about sex for the first time. It should be factual, civilized, and cordial; not uptight and awkward.

I think everyone could use some peace. I think everyone is tired of fighting. I think the world needs to have a day where all the psychos are gagged and bound and the rest of the world settles down and enjoys nothing but ice cream and beer for a week!

One thing that I am glad about is that it’s been raining here a lot. Missouri’s water table has actually been dwindling, but recently we haven’t had a twenty four hour period without rain. I don’t want it to flood, but it is good to see that The mother is caring for herself, at least here.

Well, I won’t lie, I’m running out of things to say. Have a good weekend everyone!