What started off as a bad time, eventually led to one of the greatest spiritual moments of my life. Katrina and I got into a tiff over something, but I will not cover the nature of it do exclusively to the fact that I do not want to build a “Good Guy/Bad Guy” element to my blog, especially this one. But we had an argument and I went home. I didn’t leave on my own free will, I was asked to, but at the time I wanted to anyway.
I went home feeling like crap, and the next day; even worse. Our next meeting was painfully polite instead of passionate. Days went by where we had this polite reception on each other instead a warm and loving one. But I stayed with her, because I do not want this to come crashing down, and occasionally, relationships call one to simply be strong and steadfast in place of warm and fuzzy. Love isn’t for weaklings.
On that day, I sulked at work quite a bit, and I was thinking as I worked about my situation. I thought for a good long time. We both hurt each other that night I hurt her through thoughtless action, she hurt me through verbal implications. And I came to realize that although I am happy with her, I was happy because of her, this happiness was a farce, a mannequin happiness. This was a superficial happiness, not a true kind.
It caused me to search myself and thoughts entered my mind, “What are you going to do if this doesn’t work out?” I thought about it deeply, almost to the extent where someone could say meditated on it. I looked at how much I had grown. I have formed actual friendships with people at work, I had become more social and despite my heavy activity in the arts of magic, had, in these past few weeks felt more like a normal person than at any other point of my life. These changes were not brought about by her, but by me.
She motivated me to be a better, stronger, more stable person, and through the use of magic, I have only improved my Life more. It was like a revelation… what I am in, my Dating Relationship may be a current state of my physical existence; Spiritually, I am actually in a renaissance. I Love her with all that I am, but it was at this time I realized that I had awoken and finally opened my heart’s chakra. Learned how to Love life, Love myself, and Love the spirits of Magic. Because no matter what happens, I will always have it.
It’s hard to explain, how magic is used so proactively in life. Magic has filled my Chalice, and what is given may be taken, but what has been felt, what is being felt, and what will be felt will always be felt. I have hit a pinnacle in Life, I have felt every emotion and have indulged in every emotion, from being in so much pain to want to shoot myself in the sanctuary of a church, to the joy of waking up and looking into the eyes of your Love, who has been sleeping next to you. I know it all, and am no longer afraid to live without.
I have found peace, I have found happiness! My heart is overjoyed at what blessings are poured into my Chalice. I know dark times may come, but I will overcome. I have found the key to my heart and happiness, and that is communion with the Spirits of Wind, Water, Fire, and Earth. My place is within the arms and loving house of the Goddess and the God. I have found the Family of my dreams, and I seek to manifest that in the physical realm.
As of now, I am chained to the one I Love. This is a pleasant yolk. Not one I wish to see end. This is a pleasing bond, it brings about Trust, Love, Companionship, and Strength. But if, God forbid this comes to an end, I know what it is I want to do. I want to help people find the Life, Prosperity, and Happiness that I have discovered. If our bond comes undone, I want to continue my Career Goals, but on the side, I will become free, “Spiritual Consultant.”
Not counselor, not psychologist, I want to hang up flyers in the appropriate places advertising my gifts, and offering my services for free. No charge, no obligations, the only thing that would be required of my client is participation. This may sound weird, it may sound unnatural, but the more I discover about magic through it’s use, the more I learn to accept those elements of it.
What exactly has magic done for me? First off, it healed some of the deeper wounds in my heart. It has given me support before I met Katrina. Secondly, I believe firmly that the reason Katrina and I got so close was because I used it to strengthen my aura. I also asked for knowledge, and asked the spirits of magic to encourage her guardian spirits to guide us, to, “Show her the side of me that know one else will dare to see” as written in the Book of Craft, (AKA my little Book of Shadows)
I tried so Hard, the Black Book is my witness of all the folly, all the pain, all the missed shots. I didn’t use magic to make her fall in love with me, that’s a violation in the ethics of magic. I merely asked that our spirits become open and receptive of each other. And that if we were indeed compatible, that we would recognize it and enter it with determination and courage.
It has also given me energy, because at times, I only have time to enter meditation early, in the morning, as in like, 2:00. So needless to say, I have been drawing from this well of energy and through the use of meditation and magic, I have amplified my sleep and energy I receive from it.
The list goes on. I have done physical healing to people and animals, as well as helped encourage plant growth, causing my herbs to sprout a week early. Magic has helped me make money in the following days as well. Don’t be consider it vain to use magic for this purpose, magic is very mutual. You don’t use magic for money and suddenly your bank account shoots up or money falls from the heavens, but last week, I was scheduled for thirty five hours. I was called in for a shift one day, I did a catering, making my shift a thirteen hour day, and I got an opportunity to close. Giving me about forty six hours. Work with magic, and it will work for you.
Do not think that magic is some kind of Santa Clause. I used magic the first time out of curiosity. I read about it, and found its teachings both insightful and intriguing. The most important thing to know in use of magic is above all seek peace and balance. First time magic users should not act of desire, except if it is for these. I was lucky, I did my research, and my mind and heart was already in the right place. You must ground yourself before its use or you could cause great damage.
If you have anger in your heart or mind, it could be intercepted in your circle, and it can be spread and amplified, causing grave misfires. You must not only know your desires, but know why they are your desires. Make magic deliberate, specific and leave nothing to chance. Peace is the best state of mind in which to perform. And for first time users, you may need to spend several sessions of just listening and dispelling bad energy from yourself before you are finally able to enter the “Performing State.”
Magic can do a lot for a person, but it requires patience, diligence, a happy heart and a humble attitude.
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